***This is a post originally written in October of 2010, and I’m recycling it from a now-defunct blog of mine. The reflection is still applicable, so I’m sharing it as part of the #WorthRevisit link-up over at www.theologyisaverb.com and www.reconciledtoyou.com/blog.html. Be sure to head there when you’re finished to check out other posts that are worth revisiting! This post also contains one affiliate link to Aquinas And More***
I went back to Mass today for the first time in two months. I wasn’t quite sure, even up to yesterday, if I would be able to go. My suture area is still sore from time to time and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to try sitting in a pew for an hour. But in the end, I knew that I really wanted to be at Mass and to talk to Jesus in the Tabernacle. I needed to hear the readings, sing the hymns – especially since at St. John Vianney, we sing the Salve Regina in Latin at the end of the Mass on Sundays in October to honor the Queen of Heaven during the month of the Rosary. It’s a chant that is sung acapella, and always gives me chills. So, mom, Howie, and I went to church today.
Mass was really what my soul needed. Interestingly, Fr. Troy was saying the exact things that I’ve been reading in Small Steps for Catholic Moms lately. Namely, that focusing on the here and now — what we have in the present and making the best of it — is really all the God asks of us. St. Therese once said that, “When we yield to discouragement or despair, it is usually because we give too much thought to the past or to the future.” I feel that these two similar messages are just what I need to hear and ponder at the moment. Fr. Troy pointed out today that in the Gospel reading, Luke 17:5-10, the disciples ask Jesus to increase their Faith. They want to be able to perform big, over-the-top-miracles and to stop struggling with doubts. Jesus replies, “If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you would say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you.” What He’s telling them is that they need to use the faith they have! He will take their pittance, their small offering of faith, and use it to do great things in His name. In the same way, I really need to learn to use what He’s given me in all areas of my life. We need more money — who doesn’t? I need a better spiritual life — but I’m not living the one I have to the fullest now. We need a house with more room — but I have a lot of clutter as it is. I think what I am taking away from all of this, especially in light of adding another branch to our family tree, is that I am already so incredibly blessed, and that I need to really cultivate my appreciation for what I have. It’s ok to want more, but it’s not ok to take what you have for granted in the meantime.
In the end, all I really want is Christ. One day, I will have Him forever in Heaven for all eternity. For now? I receive Him in the Eucharist each week! The rest is just details.